Liuzhou Laowai

Random thoughts on life in Liuzhou, Guangxi, China

Archive for the ‘Stupidity’ Category

Slow

Here they go again, thinking slow again. The Chinese Communist Party  is holding its 5-yearly National Congress  (NCCPC) 中国共产党全国代表大. This is an utterly pointless meeting to rubber stamp decisions that have already been taken in private. No one ever, ever votes against anything. Some of the oldest guys will be sidelined and some of the […]

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Cheesed Off!

Some brain-dead official cretin in China’s customs bureau has decided to ban the import all European soft cheeses on the grounds that they contain “too much bacteria”. A bit like Mozart’s music having “too many notes”. I want to get hold of the jumped-up ignoramus and point out to him that his body probably contains […]

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Norwegian Spam

I get a lot of comments here which you never see. Utter nonsense and obvious spam. And the occasional troll. They never get through. This one, however, amused me in its going the extra mile in complete stupidity. Such dedication in turning English into incomprehensible word salad should not go unmarked. “Comment: I liked up […]

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Child Near Drowns – Parents Playing Cell Phone

For the second time in two weeks, a child has almost drowned in Liuzhou while its parent is busy playing on their cell phone. On Tuesday (25th July), a 5-year old boy fell into the river at 4:30 pm in Liuzhou’s artificial beach on the riverbank.  Local life guards saw him fall and went to […]

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Banned Bear – Winnie Not Welcome

The idiots in charge of China’s internet censorship have just made themselves look even more childish and stupid than usual. They have banned Winnie the Pooh! All mention of Winnie is being scrubbed from websites and social media even as I write this. What has poor Winnie done to deserve this? It seems to go […]

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Liuzhou’s Historical Nightmare

In order to mark the Dragon Boat Festival, and perhaps today’s Children’s Day, Liuzhou Museum mounted one of its occasional temporary exhibitions. These can sometimes be wonderful. This one wasn’t. Entitled “Historical Memory”. it consisted of a load of piss-poor water colours depicting scenes from around the city. You know, the same clichéd crap you […]

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A Load of Bollards

I’ve declared war. All over Liuzhou (China) are loads of bollards. These are erected to prevent the more idiotic citizens who have somehow managed to obtain a driving license despite displaying no discernible driving skills from inserting their vehicles into spaces where no sane person would think of so doing. Said bollards are fixed to […]

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Sam Sung – Bad Music

Never again will I buy a Samsung phone. I am no newcomer to cell phones or mobile phones or whatever you call them. I bought my first mobile phone back in 1988 – a Motorolo brick which weighed the same as well fed baby and was equally shitty. Over the years I have upgraded and […]

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China NoCom

This could all have turned out very differently. I was having visions of spending time at the keyboard lambasting all and sundry for their corporate incompetence, tax avoidance, general annoyance etc. I would have worked the orange imbecile in somehow, too. A total breakdown in civilisation etc. I had to move house. Always a load […]

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Déjà Vu Litter

I just got back from a few days out of town and was going through my spam in the vague but unlikely hope that any of my email was not from Slavic women who apparently can’t live without me, and kind medical practitioners offering to supply me medical compounds at a reasonable price to apparently […]

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