Liuzhou Laowai

Random thoughts on life in Liuzhou, Guangxi, China

Cheesed Off!


Some brain-dead official cretin in China’s customs bureau has decided to ban the import all European soft cheeses on the grounds that they contain “too much bacteria”. A bit like Mozart’s music having “too many notes”.

I want to get hold of the jumped-up ignoramus and point out to him that his body probably contains more bacteria than any cheese and that the cheese is probably more intelligent than he is.

Bacteria ≠ bad!

China is full of fermented goods. Fermented and stinky doufu, pickles galore, yoghurt, beer etc all require bacteria for fermentation. Duh!

Cheeses affected by the ban include brie, camembert, gorgonzola, roquefort and stilton.

Of course, cheeses made in China by exactly the same methods and using exactly the same bacteria are unaffected by the ban.

This is what happens when someone is appointed and promoted for their ability to make long, boring speeches at pointless party meetings rather than have any aptitude for thinking or knowledge of the job.

It is reminiscent of the 1961 Billy Wilder movie One,Two, Three. in  which Soviet officials in Russia reject a shipment of cheese from Switzerland.

We have emergency meeting with Swiss Trade Delegation. They send us twenty car-loads of cheese. Totally unacceptable… full of holes.”

Like the official’s brain.

Update: The ban was lifted at the end of October. Good article on the whole saga here.

. This entry was posted on Sunday, September 10th, 2017 at 3:59 pm and is filed under China News, Food and Drink, Stupidity. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

5 Responses to “Cheesed Off!”

  1. Robert Says:

    Goodness me, do they actually make cheese in china ? Is it as good as chinese wine, beer and bread?

  2. Liuzhou Laowai Says:

    Yes, they do make cheese in China. There are some good cheddars from Inner Mongolia and from Shanghai. Some of the ethnic minorities make cheeses including some excellent goat’s cheese. There is even some guy in Xi’an making respectable aged gouda etc.

    There are also some very good Chinese wines, but I’ve never seen them in Liuzhou. Ditto beers. Some very good craft beers in Beijing and Shanghai.

    I’ll give you the bread. Not of one their great skills.

  3. David Says:

    Unfortunately , doltish and arrogant government employees not confined to China . Surprised to hear there’s no craft beer in Liuzhou yet . I can think of at least one potential customer who’d justify a local brewery ……

  4. Robert Says:

    David, in my experience a lot of craft beer tastes like home brew, but more expensive. I’d be happy with a cold commercial lager on tap at a reasonable price. Yes, I know you can buy a little keg and take it home but I like to go to a bar

  5. David Says:

    Wouldn’t argue with that Bob especially when they attempt an ale , and certainly enjoy your drawn lager but , please , not too cold (which is just for the fashionistas) ; 7C minimum and you’ll actually taste the stuff !

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