Liuzhou Laowai

Random thoughts on life in Liuzhou, Guangxi, China

Archive for December, 2014

Happy Days Toytown

It brings me great to joy to share with you the wonderful news that, according to a highly scientific poll conducted by China Central Television (CCTV), Liuzhou is the 16th happiest city in China! The ranking, they tell me, is based on five main criteria – quality of life, environment, social civilization and economic well-being, […]

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China Bans Christmas – The Egg Protest

‘Well, not exactly. All the shops were decorated and blaring out Christmas music yesterday. A lot of shop and restaurant staff were wearing red Santa costumes, etc. Reports have been published saying that Christmas celebrations were banned in one college belonging to 西北大学 (North-western University) in Xi’an and Wenzhou city’s education authority proclaimed that “No […]

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CRI Me A River

I find this report from CRI (China Radio International) English utterly bizarre. They are saying that all learner drivers in Liuzhou are required to work as assistant traffic cops before being allowed to sit the practical, actually driving part of the test. No one I have spoken to knows anything about this. Anyway, being a […]

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Fix Me A Line

The Highway Code is  the UK’s rules of the road and every learner driver has to know it. It doesn’t all have the force of law, but where it doesn’t, it can still be used to determine liability in the case of accidents or disputes. Among the many subjects it covers is roadside markings. […]

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Drunken Foreigner

I wish to put on the record that the drunken foreigner who passed out on the pedestrian street on Saturday evening wasn’t me! A 22 year old Russian man wearing only a white shirt, staggered out of 华侨大厦 opposite Soho bar, then collapsed unconscious in the pedestrian street. Police and ambulance were called and he […]

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Be Civilised!

China Mobile not only supply my cell phone service but are China’s class A spammers. Almost everyday, I get some text message telling me something I don’t want to know or trying to sell me something I don’t want to buy. Today they sent me a kind message. 文明柳州人:不说脏话、不随地吐痰、不乱扔垃圾、不占道经营、不噪音扰民、不乱贴滥画、不在公共场所吸烟、不损坏花草树木. It is addressed to me (and […]

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Here We Go Again

I wish there was a way to set the following to be posted automatically every year. Instead, I feel compelled to do it myself. Liuzhou has reported its first gas poisoning death of the season. A young man was found dead yesterday in rented accommodation in Liuzhou. His naked body was discovered by his room […]

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Dong Art

Liuzhou museum on the People’s Square is having another of its occasional temporary exhibitions. This time it is featuring artworks by artists from the Dong ethnic minority, the majority of whom live in Sanjiang county in the north of Liuzhou Prefecture. The exhibition is on the first floor of the museum and entrance is free. […]

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Liuzhou S.W.A.T.

I’m a bit nervous to post this. If they don’t like it, they have the force to take me out. Liuzhou police have released a number of over-the-top propaganda images of their crack S.W.A.T (Special Weapons and Tactics) team – given the Hollywood treatment. These images all contain the atrocious “English” slogan, “Suffered We  Protect […]

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Cézanne’s Cell Phone

Yesterday, I was chatting with a bunch of local college students and we somehow got onto the topic of western art and the insanely high prices paid for some paintings. They were particularly interested to know what is the most expensive painting. I was able not only to tell them, but to show them. I […]

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