Liuzhou Laowai

Random thoughts on life in Liuzhou, Guangxi, China

Archive for July, 2014

Glowing Zebras

The traffic authorities are still wittering on about their “Courtesy at Crossings” drive. They have pulled off two stunts in the last couple of days. First they came up up with the idea of repainting the crossings with luminous paint (but with all the usual characteristics employed by local painters. Slap the paint somewhere in […]

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Stunned Zebras

I actually read this earlier tonight, but had to go have a lie down. The shock was too much. It seems someone may have read my foul-mouthed rant the other day (for which I have no intention of apologising). In a total break with years of stupidity tradition, the cops for once are laying off […]

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Guangxi Cop Executed

A Guangxi policeman has been executed for shooting and killing a pregnant noodle seller while he was drunk. Hu Ping, formerly of the public security bureau of Pingnan county, shot the woman and her husband in October of last year. The husband suffered minor injuries but his wife and unborn child were killed. Hu was […]

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Moving Accidents

At long last, Liuzhou authorities are attempting to deal with the ridiculous situation whereby motorists involved in even the most of minor of collisions refuse to move their vehicles until the cops turn up,  investigate and apportion blame. That they have blocked the entire city’s transport is no concern to these drivers. Face is all. […]

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Have a Cigar!

China’s President Xi Jingping meets a communist for the first time in his life. “Who the fuck are you?” says Castro.

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Another Bite of China

Fans of China Central Television (CCTV)’s outstanding A Bite of China (舌尖上的中国) will be interested to know that the second series has been officially released on DVD. It is still in Chinese only. The release consists of two sets of four DVDs priced at 62元 each from Xinhua book store (on the pedestrian street, opposite […]

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Don’t Walk

Liuzhou is continuing its campaign to improve road safety by blaming everything on pedestrians. The only reason cars, especially taxis, can’t speed up and down sidewalks is that pedestrians have the temerity to walk on them. Bastards! This week they recruited students from Liuzhou Vocational & Technical College (who should be on summer holiday, shagging […]

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Guardian Holds Map Upside Down

According to reports such as this in the Guardian “Eight others died later in the Guangxi region as the storm ploughed into the mainland on its way north to Vietnam.” Now, let’s say you decided to plough northwards from Guangxi. You would be heading away from Vietnam, a country which lies mostly to the south […]

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Liuzhou Mislays Internet

Large parts of Liuzhou were without internet access for seven hours  today (Sunday  20th July). Service stopped at 6:55 am and remained off until just after 2 pm. I know this because I was working on something when it went off, much to my annoyance and muttering at the wall when it came back on. […]

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Stainless Steel Strangeness

Now, if you can manage to get Your trembling fingers to behave, Why don’t you try unwrapping A stainless steel razor blade? – Leonard Cohen – Dress Rehearsal Rag I know that “stainless steel” is something of a misnomer. A more accurate description would be “stain resistant steel”. However, I have long been surprised at […]

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