Liuzhou Laowai

Random thoughts on life in Liuzhou, Guangxi, China

Another Dick

Is this the Year of the Dickhead and no one told me?

I’ve been getting emails for the last few days from some foreigner who arrived in Liuzhou two weeks ago and who is announcing to me that in that time he has tried everything Liuzhou’s gastronomic suppliers can offer and wants to know “… where are the authentic American, Mexican, South American, European, etc. I’ve been here for two weeks and am seriously getting tired of sichuan food, korean/japanese wannabes, luo si fen, and all types of other fen.”

I inform him that Liuzhou doesn’t really do foreign food and say “Why would it? The locals don’t want it. And the half dozen foreigners in town ain’t going to support it. “

Then I point him to the Italian place in the Radisson, but mention that it is pricey and not that great, in my opinion.

He then loops out completely, ranting on about all Chinese noodle dishes all tasting the same (despite his girlfriend’s enthusiasm). Anyone who can’t blind taste the difference between the noodle dishes he mentions clearly has no taste buds.

The moron states, after being here two weeks, that that “Liuzhou is a bit of an armpit when it comes to good food of any kind, be it Chinese, Asian, or Western.” Still, you have to admire someone who manages to check out a city’s 27,000 restaurants in just two weeks.

He then asks my advice on some obscure brand of factory processed frozen steaks. Then another rant about pizzas being covered in mayonnaise instead of cheese. Hwat? As Beowulf said.

I suggest, fairly politely, that if he can’t live two weeks without western food, he might be in the wrong place.

He then goes ballistic and the hate mail arrives. It’s all my fault he can’t find a Mexican restaurant. Or decent pizza. (He wants pizza? Aren’t all pizzas the same – stuff on bread? As opposed to stuff with noodles?)

He signs off with ”You’ve got typical “I’m a laowai who thinks he gets China” syndrome.”

If the jerk could read and actually understand, he might work out that the reason I have maintained this blog for so long is that I don’t get it!

I block his email and send his address to Askimet, one of the biggest spam blocking sites.

What a prick. Second one in the last two months.

. This entry was posted on Monday, November 18th, 2013 at 4:35 pm and is filed under Dickheads, Liuzhou Life, Stupidity. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

17 Responses to “Another Dick”

  1. keith Says:

    Well there is KFC Mcdonalds and Pizza Hut. and Lijing hotel try hard and almost get it right.

  2. Liuzhou Laowai Says:

    Don’t be silly. Pizza Hut doesn’t do food!

  3. carl johnson Says:

    Please tell me that he is not an American?
    Our reputation is shit all over the world, and with good reason!
    I wish these Idiots would stay here, not that we need or want them, but we are all judged by the actions of a few ignorant Assholes!
    And they should stay here so that we may keep their stupidity at bay!
    By the way, if you want Western Style food, definitely avoid KFC and McDonalds!
    The “NON-Bacon Cheeseburger stayed with me for days!
    The Dick head should learn to try new things, or else take his stupid ass home!

  4. Liuzhou Laowai Says:

    I have no idea where he is from. Or where’s he’s coming from.

  5. Ray Ducray Says:

    Hey Ken !! Done the right thing by “anti spamming” him. Miss our Saturday “sojourns” ! Why do people think it is your fault, or for that matter anyones fault about the Liuzhou food ? It is Liuzhou, so eat what you get, or leave ! Cook at home !! Take care my friend.

  6. Liuzhou Laowai Says:

    Cheers Ray.

  7. John O Says:

    A bit off topic but I’m curious – how many expats are in Liuzhou? In the three visits there I had, totalling probably nine weeks in all, I bumped into one Westerner – not Liuzhou Laowai unfortunately though : )

  8. Liuzhou Laowai Says:

    Very difficult to say, but few.

    Long term, semi-permanent residents. Half a dozen. If that.

    A few short term “teachers”. Usually, here for six months or a year at most.

    Then there are the people who fly in from Shanghai and put up in the better hotels during the week, then fly back. You ain’t gong to meet them on the streets of Liuzhou – it’s dirty out there. They tend to take taxis to wherever they work, then taxi back to the hotel, where they eat in so-called western restaurants. I did once meet one guy who boasted that he had never eaten anywhere but Liuzhou Hotel’s dire steak house in the three years he had been here.

    That is about it.

    Of course, that only really accounts for the western expats. There are hundreds of SE Asians here, particularly Vietnamese doing business, teaching or studying. I know a few Thai people in town, too.


  9. carl johnson Says:

    I’ve only visited once for about three weeks. I saw only one Westerner….tall slim fellow, in the bookstore near MacDonalds. Fenglian grabbed my arm, pointed and whispered ‘Foreigner!’ Then she put her hand over her mouth and giggled ‘I almost forget! You foreigner!’
    So I assume it is a rare sight!

  10. John O Says:

    The gentleman I met was ex-British Army. Had a fascinating chat that was all too short. I have often pondered is it better or worse to have an ‘active’ ex pat community. My own experience in India and Bangladesh ran the gamut – too many in a way in Calcutta, no other Westerners where I lived in in Bangladesh. On the one hand it’s nice to have ‘like minded’ people to socialise with, but on the other the temptation to form a ‘Western Enclave’ is always present and can preclude really becoming immersed in the local culture….

  11. carl johnson Says:

    I tend to agree with John O…But for different reasons!
    I can’t foresee a time when Liuzhou will have enough Westerners to have enclaves like Shanghai or Beijing…But it would be nice to occasionally meet someone to share opinions with…I had thought there were perhaps 200 or so Americans in Liuzhou. The GM Wuling joint venture surely employs several?…But I guess they are the type who commute from Shanghai?…forgive my ignorance!

  12. Liuzhou Laowai Says:

    The GM Wuling joint venture employed several (certainly not hundreds) of expats a few years ago.

    They were certainly not all American. GM is international. There were a couple of Americans. A lovely Mexican family. A delightful German man. A couple of British engineers. A Swede.

    But, as with all these joint ventures, the expats are only here in the initial stages to set the thing up, then it is handed over to the locals. The people I mention were around for about a year. Now, someone from GM flies in from Shanghai now and again to make sure the factory is still there.

    It’s also worth remembering that GM is a minority shareholder.

    Frankly, with only one or two exceptions, I avoid other expats. If I want to hang out with ‘foreigners’, I’ll go home. The place is full of them.

    A frightening number of expats in China have turned out to be extremely disturbed. Whether they were before they arrived or not, is not something I’m qualified to comment on.

  13. John O Says:

    “Frankly, with only one or two exceptions, I avoid other expats. If I want to hang out with ‘foreigners’, I’ll go home. The place is full of them.”

    I can understand that – being an immigrant here in the US that is also my stock reply to invitations to go to ‘ethnic’ venues etc….but sometimes it is nice to have some time with other Europeans not of my country of origin. Kind of familiar but that difference keeps it fresh and interesting.

    Re the ‘extremely disturbed’…I would venture that moving to China is not the type of thing people with a ‘normal’ life do anyway. But there is indeed a difference between ‘good crazy’ and ‘batsh8t crazy’. The worst are those who move to countries to prey on women/children/whoever/whatever in a way they would not have the opportunity to do at home….

  14. keith Says:

    I have been to GM Wuling and there are no americans. It is 100% chinese.

  15. Liuzhou Laowai Says:

    But, as I explained, there were several Americans in the past, and Americans still turn up regularly, although there are none permanently based there now (so far as I know).

  16. carl johnson Says:

    LOL! I prefer Eccentric to ‘Extremely disturbed’ or ‘Bat shit crazy’
    I have my reasons for wishing to try to live in Liuzhou. Maybe I will be extremely disturbed and Bat Shit crazy after six months, or so.
    But I have good reason to try this.
    I will have my hands full taking care of a few details for a Chinese / American friend and learning to adjust to Fenglian’s family, so no one need worry about my trying to socialize with the few English speaking people around! Not that I am trying to escape English speakers!
    But I seriously doubt I will have the time
    I wouldn’t avoid expats, but I certainly do not plan to cultivate them!

  17. Not Pizza | Liuzhou Laowai Says:

    […] half-coated in fried minced/ground beef, some yellowish substance (not cheese or mayonnaise, dickhead), half raw cherry tomato and a fraction of a coriander/cilantro leaf. The bases tasted of nothing. […]

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