Liuzhou Laowai

Random thoughts on life in Liuzhou, Guangxi, China

Star Fucks

It’s always the same round here. Someone opens a new business. It takes off. So everyone else opens the same kind of business until the market gets saturated and no one makes any money! There used to be one guy in the city centre selling and attaching little protective covers for your mobile phone display. Now there are dozens.

The other big fashion is coffee shops. Not that anyone seems to know anything about coffee. There are a million and one places which have opened in the last couple of years. Most are very average, some are terrible.  In 99% of them, they take forever to make an overpriced cup of muddy water. It’s all  about the ritual – no one seems to know what the stuff is actually meant to taste like. I’ve only found two which are good. One for its atmosphere and the other for a really good coffee.

There are four within five minutes of my home, two of which opened next door to each other within a few days.

But I am looking forward to visiting this one which is being built here in Liuzhou. Not so much a coffee bar, more a coffee brothel, by the sounds of it!

 Star Fucks

  Thanks to Laura for the tip off.

. This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 8th, 2010 at 7:35 pm and is filed under Food and Drink, Liuzhou News, Restaurants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

6 Responses to “Star Fucks”

  1. Liuzhou Laowai Says:

    When originally posted on the old blog hosting site this article went viral. Some of the comments received are as follows:

    1. Jerry left…
    Monday, 8 March 2010 7:43 pm

    OMG, nice find!

    2. A Traveller left…
    Monday, 8 March 2010 10:19 pm

    Oh dear. Someone should tell them, if its not too late. They even managed to spell coffee wrong! Hang on! Does that say Porn Queen? Bit of a set-up I think.

    3. liuzhou left…
    Monday, 8 March 2010 10:49 pm :: http://liuzhou.blog-city.com

    I don’t think there is any need to tell them. I’m sure they know.

    4. Expatriate Games left…
    Monday, 8 March 2010 11:40 pm :: http://expatriategames.wordpress.com/

    Yeah you beat me to! I was going to post this too, the place is in the same complex as our new rental. All those signs are there as “examples” of businesses to come. You probably saw the ones for Haagen Daz and 7-11 too. With this one though, I’m sure some graphic designer/architect is had a good laugh.

    I actually spoke to the property management company about the sign and the meanings of both Star Fucks and Porn Queen. The response from the big boss, after my literal translation, was “I don’t think so….”. I asked if he thought I had nothing better to do than to make it up. Blank stares… I shrugged my shoulders and left.

    5. ecodelta left…
    Tuesday, 9 March 2010 4:12 am

    Maybe is a publicity stunt. Is the race to the bottom so bad that they have to resort to such PR stunts?

    6. Expatriate Games left…
    Tuesday, 9 March 2010 8:36 am :: http://expatriategames.wordpress.com/

    Publicity stunt? 99% of the local population have no idea what it says!

    7. bananaundercover left…
    Tuesday, 9 March 2010 5:09 pm :: http://bananaundercover.posterous.com/

    Genius. I bet the coffee will taste kind of familiar and yet kind of dirty. My local bakery just turned into a total poor man’s version of 85 degrees, but sadly it is called the highly boring ‘Apple Garden’.

    8. Jesse left…
    Tuesday, 9 March 2010 6:45 pm :: http://www.shenzhenphotos.com

    nice find!

    9. Laura left…
    Wednesday, 10 March 2010 5:40 am

    I thought it was Chinglish when I spotted it until I saw the Porn Queen. It is definitely a set up… Maybe they are just big Sex and the City fans.. Carrie: We should open one in every block, like Starbucks! Samantha: Starfucks!

    Don’t know where the Porn Queen came from though!

    10. hugo left…
    Wednesday, 10 March 2010 8:28 am

    like it, Lol~~~

    11. Craftylass left…
    Wednesday, 10 March 2010 1:52 pm

    I howled with laughter on this one! Would be interesting to see if it ever truly opened up or if it’s just a string a signs like we have in our city.

    As an editor, I run into people all the time who provide “editing” services and deliberately sabotage translations for unsuspecting companies. A favorite is to edit a menu to say “fried crap” instead of “fried carp.” It’s people like that who make sure that I have lots of business!

    I ran into a child’s tee shirt that had a rhinestone word on the front: “BITCH” Nothing I could say would convince the salesgirl that this was a bad idea. I should have bought it just to make sure no one else did! But then again, maybe ten-year-olds are wearing these types of shirts in the US!

    12. Ellie left…
    Thursday, 11 March 2010 2:15 am

    When I lived in China I saw a “Starbuck” with no “s” on the end so I guess this is an improvement in terms of intellectual copyright? Thanks for sharing and as always things never seem to change.

    13. Asian Ramblings left…
    Thursday, 11 March 2010 4:25 am :: http://www.asianramblings.com

    Is a date set for the opening? I will definitely be there.

    14. Idiocracy Now left…
    Thursday, 11 March 2010 6:12 am

    “a double latte with full release”

    15. Gelt left…
    Thursday, 11 March 2010 9:19 pm

    Where is it? Think I should pay a visit when I’m back to liuzhou during Qingming! LOL

    16. liuzhou left…
    Thursday, 11 March 2010 9:39 pm :: http://liuzhou.blog-city.com

    It’s on Wenchang Road (文昌路) opposite the new Peoples’ Hospital (市人民医院)

    17. Gelt left…
    Saturday, 13 March 2010 3:20 pm

    So that means it’s near my home , which is at Guizhong Avenue (桂中大道) !

    18. longtian left…
    Sunday, 14 March 2010 8:49 am

    This looks like the same publicity stunt that we saw about a year ago. Developers put a funny shanzhai sign on a storefront that is under construction in order to attract leasers and attention. As you can see, the building is still being constructed in the photo. This isn’t a real store, nor would it continue to be. I know of fake Subway stores, etc., but Subway is infamous for allowing things like that internationally. Starbucks, McD’s, KFC are much more brutal when it comes to infringement, so I call fake.

    19. liuzhou left…
    Sunday, 14 March 2010 10:02 am :: http://liuzhou.blog-city.com

    Yes, I know its not a real coffee shop, thanks!

    20. Travelling left…
    Thursday, 18 March 2010 2:15 pm

    Funny find! Where is this place? Could you tell me where to find this coffee shop? I wanna pay a visit 🙂 Thanks!

    21. liuzhou left…
    Thursday, 18 March 2010 4:09 pm :: http://liuzhou.blog-city.com

    Read the comments above, Travelling. They tell you exactly where it is and that it isn’t a real coffee shop!

    22. Travelling left…
    Friday, 19 March 2010 11:12 am

    Thank you Liuzhou! It’s on No. 3, Wenchang Rd. Nan Ya Ming Di (南亚名邸)? It’s a coffee shop under construction or not a coffee shop at all?

    23. liuzhou left…
    Friday, 19 March 2010 2:08 pm :: http://liuzhou.blog-city.com

    In fact there are two of them and for last time, it’s not a real coffee shop.

    Duh!

    24. fish left…
    Tuesday, 23 March 2010 7:21 pm

    Do u konw u cafe in Liuzhou ? It’s located in 43# Goldfish lane of South Liberation Road (解放南路金鱼洗巷43号) Espresso in there is good!

    25. liuzhou left…
    Tuesday, 23 March 2010 11:18 pm :: http://liuzhou.blog-city.com

    And that was a commercial break from fish in goldfish lane!

    Duh!

    26. liuzhou left…
    Tuesday, 27 April 2010 10:22 pm :: http://liuzhou.blog-city.com

    The signs have now been removed. Someone woke up.

    27. dw left…
    Saturday, 28 August 2010 3:17 am

    good that they did not change the the “star” to “start”…….

    28. henry left…
    Sunday, 19 September 2010 11:45 pm

    I’m sure they’re trying to be similar, but not really that sure they know the exact meaning. I have seen some shops showing their English names as “Server Error, please try later” as they must be hiring some one who knows little English and do it using online translation sites…

    29. liuzhou left…
    Monday, 20 September 2010 7:05 am :: http://liuzhou.blog-city.com/

    There isn’t an online translator on the planet that would come up with “Starfucks”.

    30. Danny left…
    Saturday, 13 November 2010 4:46 am

    Too bad it was taken down. If I try to put up such a sign in United States … I might get into trouble. It is a freedom I don’t have here.

  2. Jo Jo Says:

    I was there about 3 years ago on a site tour with a beautiful Liuzhou Girl we laughed…, But hey China is great and so what things are copied and said fake many USA citizens are fake (people ) ever been to Seattle, Wa ?

  3. kim Says:

    hehe, my theory with such things is always “american interns having fun”

  4. Liuzhou Laowai Says:

    Why American? Could just as likely be any English speakers. Starbucks isn’t confined to America, you know.

  5. kim Says:

    funny you should say that! as soon as i clicked Submit Comment, i thought, hm, more likely australian, but you never know! 😀

  6. The best of the rest: Our top ten Chinese fakes | The World of Chinese Says:

    […] Image courtesy of Liuzhou Laowai […]

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