Liuzhou Laowai

Random thoughts on life in Liuzhou, Guangxi, China

China Frees Internet – Lunatic Lies

Good News! Official!

"China has the most open Internet in the world" says Zhou Xisheng (周锡生) Deputy Chief of Xinhua* News Agency, Director-General of Xinhua* News Net, Clot of the Year.

*Xinhua is Chinese for "total bollocks". Or something.

DickI've decided to give him an English name – they love English names around here. 

Let me introduce Dick. Dick is the donkey who is let loose at meetings to express the wonderful openness of the Chinese internet (except Xinjiang which has been cut off. Very open Crazy Dick!)

Dick, the donkey, makes the announcement on the same day that China blocks access to the Internet Movie Database. Well, it would be terrible if the Chinese found out that America made more movies than Titanic. So, lets block it to be more open!

This really is the most idiotic statement in a long line of utter stupidity. Seven days into a  new year and this (pass the thesaurus, wife!) deeply un-intelligent person wins the official DICKHEAD OF THE YEAR AWARD along with the DONKEY OF THE DECADE AWARD.

For those of those of you not in China, the blocked list includes YouTube to stop me watching videos of obscure blues singers I find particularly wonderful; Facebook so that I can't tell my family and friends how I am and how much time I spend watching obscure blues movies (note the 's' – I didn't say blue movies! These are freely available in the really open DVD porn shops next to the really open brothels (someone told me!) Anyway, they are yellow in China); Twitter so I can't bore the world about which blue movie I am currently watching and who is doing what to whom the tedium of my life. The idiots even managed to block themselves once, a couple of years back! Xinhua – China's official news agency, which apparently employs this tosser (thanks wife) managed to get blocked for a couple of days

Apart from that, a load of sites I don't want to look at anyway. Perhaps what is more surprising is what is open. This blog, for one! Although after this post, who knows? Most news sites are open, although key words may trigger partial blocks. Sometimes. Not always. 

But China is the most open in the world. Don't you forget it!

So, Dick, tell me one, just one, website which is blocked in less open Britain? Or the USA? Or anywhere else other than the sad countries run by your rabid, scum friends in in Burma and North Korea.

FORMAL DISCLAIMER: One apologises profusely for any bad language and for any use of London N4 dialect, but fuck me! Is this nutter sane? 

. This entry was posted on Thursday, January 7th, 2010 at 8:30 pm and is filed under Censorship, Propaganda, Stupidity. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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