Liuzhou Laowai

Random thoughts on life in Liuzhou, Guangxi, China

Archive for September, 2008

Nursery Rhymes

In these troubled times it is good to know that someone has their eye on the ball. Chinese President, Hu Jintao made a speech yesterday explaining how to ride the storm. He said, This translates as Hickory Dickory DockThe mouse ran up the clockThe clock struck oneThe mouse ran down Hickory Dickory Dock At […]

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Funeral Competition

I’m delighted to learn that, whereas the locals are screwing up in the wedding dept, things are looking up in the funeral area. I learn from the Liuzhou Government website that local undertakers are taking part in funeral competitions! The first National Funeral Services Competition is being held to raise the professionalism of the industry […]

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F1 Stoned Boats

It is a busy time for Liuzhou lampposts. All weekend, lamppost decorators have been roaming the streets sticking signs on lampposts.   Liuzhou is to host two events in the next few weeks: The 2008 F1 Powerboat Grand Prix and the 5th Liuzhou International Fantastic Stone Festival. As far as I can make out from […]

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Wedding Noodles

I call them “train noodles”. Because, I usually only eat them on trains – as does everyone else. Instant noodles. Every train has the hot water needed to make the things vaguely edible. They come in a little pot, along with various additives, depending on brand. But you can bet there is a load of […]

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Duck Hunting

At the weekend, I took myself off to Nanning, the capital of Guangxi. It’s about three hours down the road by bus. En route, we cross the Tropic of Cancer – yes it’s marked on the highway. The reason for my journey was twofold – to see my dearest friend whom I have been missing […]

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Random Photograph #12

Random Photograph No. 12 Twelfth in a series of pictures, taken in Liuzhou, which amuse me.

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Cops Bust Themselves?

I wasn’t going to mention this as it seemed too much of a non-story. But, it has taken a surprising twist. A few days ago this Liuzhou story popped up on a French website. Someone spotted this new nightclub, called with stunning originality, the Shangri-La,  which was covered in the usual congratulatory new business opening  […]

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Scooter Death

I've mentioned these horrible electric scooters before. They are classified as bicycles and therefore users need no training or licencing. The city is swamped by them. Roads and sidewalks are full of them. And they are extremely dangerous. Few people wear protective clothing or helmets as they charge along chatting on their mobile phones […]

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Lost Passport in Liuzhou – Update

In the unlikely event that Ronald Charles Woodgate from Australia reads this, your passport which you dropped on the road in downtown Liuzhou is now being held by Liuzhou police. To retrieve it please contact the nice people at Liuzhou Foreign Affairs Office on 07722825529. They speak English. UPDATE: Mr Woodgate has been reunited with […]

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China! I’m in China! Down a hole!

ALiuzhou local has raised the art of Falling Down Holes to previously undreamt of heights. This chap got blind drunk, stripped to his underpants and fell into a hole full of muddy water. Police and very red firefighters eventually dragged him out before he drowned. All through the rescue effort he was “talking nonsense”. After […]

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