Liuzhou Laowai

Random thoughts on life in Liuzhou, Guangxi, China

Misplaced Windbags

Point a)

Despite being of Scottish origin, or perhaps because of it, I loathe bagpipe music. Why anyone would consider the sound of a cow with laryngitis being strangled without benefit of anaesthetic in any way artistic, is totally beyond me. Let's face it, the bagpipe was invented to instill holy terror into potential enemies, not to add grace notes to dodgy pop songs. Just think of it as a kind of sonic insect repellant – with bite!

Point b)

It is my experience that the Chinese education system is remarkably deficient in instilling any meaningful knowledge of geography into their students. Ask any random bunch of people to point to the north and you will get more different directions than you knew existed. For even more fun, find a blank outline map of China and ask them to locate Beijing, Xi'an and Shanghai. Nine out of ten haven't a clue. For the final tie breaker, ask which countries border China! If you get more than three, consider yourself lucky. I sometimes wonder if the Long March started when they nipped out for a pack of cigarettes and forgot the way home.

Which brings me to the crux of the matter. Today, trying to join in the the spirit of things during the holiday, I decided to go shopping. I ended up in a local CD store which I haven't visited in years. Whilst browsing the usual vapid non-selection I came across this wonder.

Clearly the work of another lost soul, this lover of Ireland seems to think the Emerald Isle is covered in decidedly Dutch looking windmills and its ancient turf trodden by lost Scottish bagpipe torturers.

To add to the confusion the inner cover confidently claims that:

"It is the favorite Scotland bagpipe. You can see the men wearing woollen check skirts marching in single file."

PAY ATTENTION!

1. Scotland and Ireland (and Holland) are different countries!

2. They are kilts, not skirts and the only people you are likely to see wearing them are Canadian tourists who think they are going to blend in with the scenery. (Oh and Rod Stewart, who is NOT Scottish. My brother-in-law went to school with him in Norf London.)

Anyway, you want to know, is the CD any good? No idea! No CD featuring even a picture of a bagpipe is going to pollute my player. Unless, of course, I am attacked by marauding hordes, then it will blare out defiantly.

(If the marauding hordes are non-Chinese, Beijing opera will serve the same purpose.)

. This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005 at 8:54 pm and is filed under Music, Random Photographs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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